Thank You For Loving Me
by epiphanies
Summary: Post Gift. Somebody is watching down from beyond. And they have many, many thoughts.


Thank You For Loving Me

Buffy The Vampire Slayer Songfic

  
  
  
  


Discaimer: I own naught but the plot, everything else belongs to Joss, UPN, Bon Jovi and all those officially AWESOME folks. Thanks for letting me borrow! You guys rule! *kisses*

  
  


*Yes, I feel insane and sugar highish. That's why I'm hoping that this won't turn out to be a humour fic...lol*

  
  
  
  


Buffy stared out into space, thinking about what had gone on in the last few days.

Well, first off...she had died.

She wasn't in Sunnydale anymore, that was for sure.

She stared down at her white robes and sighed.

Everything is so pure up here, she thought, what will happen if I start thinking about things that aren't meant to be thought about in a place like this?

What about all the things that I left unfinished?

  
  


It´s hard for me to say the things

I want to say sometimes

There´s no one here but you and me

And that broken old street light

Lock the doors

We´ll leave the world outside

All I´ve got to give to you

Are these five words when I

  
  


She buried her face in her hands.

She could feel the hot tears melting on her cheeks, and soaking through her hands.

What about my friends?

What about Dawn?

What about....Spike?

They were all so good to me. 

That's why I had to leave.

I had to save them, I love them.

So, here I am now, as lonely as ever, and wondering about what I'm going to miss.

But I know what I miss now.

Them. The town. The magic shop. I even miss the vampires.

Up here, there's nothing to do if you don't want to play cloud bowling.

It's a pretty dull game.

People wonder where hail comes from...

But all of her thoughts just came back to him.

He and his feelings.

He wasn't supposed to have feelings, but he did.

For her.

He was always willing to help, always willing to give his life for mine, or anyone that I touched.

Anyone that I cared for.

That's when he started actually taking care of himself.

I told him to.

Figures...

  
  


Thank you for loving me

For being my eyes

When I couldn´t see

For parting my lips

When I couldn´t breathe

Thank you for loving me

Thank you for loving me

  
  


I don't know what I really feel-felt for him.

I just know that we did have chemistry.

I know that I never would have admitted it when I was alive.

But, hey.

You have to tell the truth to get in here.

How do you think I answered the question : "How many have you loved, and how many have you rejected?".

It's like a toll booth, but instead of a dollar you have to give your secrets. Every single one, even the ones that you hadn't even known about yourself.

I had to tell the truth.

I mean, like I wanted to be rejected by God, sent down to hell to live with all of the creatures that I put there in the first place.

That questionare sucked.

For one, shouldn't Slayers (ridding the earth of evil every day until she dies) get a reserved spot in heaven?

And for two, I really didn't want to know how I felt about him.

It disturbed me, at first.

Then I saw my mom behind the gate.

I knew I had to get in there.

And admitting how I felt about him-er, Spike, was the only way.

  
  


I never knew I had a dream

Until that dream was you

When I look into your eyes

The sky´s a different blue

Cross my heart

I wear no disguise

If I tried, you´d make believe

That you believed my lies

  
  


He was so good to me.

I saw him. As I was floating away...I saw my own body, below me and lifeless. I had left it forever, though I still carry the same form in heaven. 

Anyways, I saw him crying. Sobbing, weeping....whatever you want to call it.

That vampire that I had never knew I had felt anything for, was crying over me, over my death.

I had thought he would.

But I had not hoped he would, and if he did, I didn't want to see it. I didn't want to know that I'd caused him so much pain.

So much more pain, that is, for I'd always caused him a considerable amount of pain until this year. Up until about November, actually.

Then he started to change.

And so did I.

Unknowingly, of course.

  
  


Thank you for loving me

For being my eyes

When I couldn´t see

For parting my lips

When I couldn´t breathe

Thank you for loving me

  
  


How did he put up with me?

I really don't get that aspect of it, especially after I rejected him so many times...

I'm glad he didn't have a soul.

It probably would have shattered it.

  
  
  
  


You pick me up when I fall down

You ring the bell before they count me out

If I was drowning you would part the sea

And risk your own life to rescue me

  
  


Lock the doors

We´ll leave the world outside

All I´ve got to give to you

Are these five words when I

  
  


Thank you for loving me

For being my eyes

When I couldn´t see

You parted my lips

When I couldn´t breathe

Thank you for loving me

  
  


I wish I could talk to him.

  
  
  
  


When I couldn´t fly

Oh, you gave me wings

You parted my lips

When I couldn´t breathe

Thank you for loving me

  
  


I wish I could talk to him, just for a moment.

I miss him so much.

I know he loved me.

And I think I loved him, I"m not sure what kind of love, but I'm sure I did.

Spike, thank you for loving me.

And I'll put in a good word for you.

  
  


Thank you for loving me

Thank you for loving me

Oh, for loving me


End file.
